In the New Year may you discover that your home is built on solid rock able to withstand hurricanes, floods, mud slides, earthquakes, wildfires and escalating insurance and tax rates.
May it be free of mold, mildew and mice, and safe from termites, rug mites, mosquito bites, and family fights.
If you have trouble hearing, may you give in and get a hearing aid. If you have trouble seeing, may you get respectable spectacles. If you cannot drive, may you cultivate friends who do. If you cannot chew, may you acquire designer dentures. If you cannot smell, may you take frequent showers.
May your cardiologist hear no murmur, your dentist see no cavity, your dermatologist see no lesion, your ophthalmologist see no cataract, and your proctologist tell you, “You look marvelous!”
May your computer never freeze, your automobile never overheat, your food disposal never clog up, your refrigerator never melt down, your pipes never spring a leak, your air conditioner never quit even on the hottest day of the year and your neighbor’s gardener’s roaring leaf-blower break down.
May you be able to decipher your electricity, telephone, department store and credit card bills, your income tax forms, Medicare medicine plans and the extra-fine print at the bottom of everything stating they did not really mean what is written above.
May you solve the mystery of getting from here to there despite coagulated traffic, and may you do so without having to declare bankruptcy at the gasoline pump.
May your children take a liking to you, and your grandchildren call you even when they don’t want money, and your great-grandchildren teach you how to use your text messager.
May all seven billion people everywhere in the world learn to love the people everywhere in the world so that we can survive the twenty-first century without blowing up everyone in the world.
And should you ever feel alone and unloved, may you know that you are never alone, for God is with you, in you, and loves you, and so do I. May Messiah come this year, and if he does not, may you live as if she has, and be blessed with the happiest, healthiest, and wealthiest year of your life.