Shabbat Hanukkah
1. (39:1-6) Joseph’s experiences in Egypt at Potiphar’s house.
2. (39:7-19) Potiphar’s wife tries to seduce Joseph. He refuses, so she accuses him of attempted rape.
3. (39:20-23) Joseph is imprisoned, but once again rises to a position of authority.
4. (40:1-23) In prison, Joseph interprets the dreams of Pharaoh’s cupbearer and baker.
Struggling with Self Control
This account seems somewhat inconsistent. In one place, we find that Joseph is praised for saying, “How could I do such a great wrong? I will have sinned to God! (39:9). Yet (here) our sages say that he came close to actually sinning.
This, however, was Joseph’s greatness. One might think that he was so far from home and had experienced such suffering, he no longer had any desire for sex…The Torah therefore tells us that “he came to the house to do his work” (39:11). He was strong and healthy, and he knew perfectly well what he was doing. His desire was so strong that he almost sinned. Despite all of this, he was able to overcome his desires.
In the time of Rabbi Moshe ben Maimon (Maimonides, or Rambam 1135-1204), there was a dispute among the sages as to which was the best trait.
Some people by nature like to do wrong. They would like to harm others and commit crimes, but are prevented by their fear of God. Otherwise, they would commit every crime in the book.
Other people have the opposite nature. They do not like to do bad things. They refrain from sin, not because they fear God, but because it goes against their nature.
Maimonides explained that it all depends on what kind of wrong we are discussing. There are some commandments which are logically moral and ethical, such as the prohibition against stealing. In such cases, it is better not to even desire to do wrong. But with regards to commandments which are not necessarily logical, such as the prohibition against kindling fire on the Sabbath, or eating pork, the first trait is better. We desire these things, but we refrain from doing them because of God’s commandment.”
Although Joseph was burning with passion and his desire was so strong that he almost gave in, he overcame this passion. Sex is something that man naturally desires, and [the fact that he refrained only because of his fear of God] is a sign of his greatness. Yalkuut Me’am Loez, The Torah Anthology, Genesis 3a, 314-314
Ben Zoma Taught: Who is strong? One who subdues his or her impulses (Avot 2:21).
True strength is exhibited when one is in control of himself and can refuse the advances of his evil inclination (Rashi). This is a spiritual strength in which man may take pride (Rav).
The battle between the positive and negative forces in man is a more precious one than a physical war in three ways: (a) While a physical enemy can be vanquished permanently, the Evil Inclination can at most be subdued, but he will return again and again; their war is lifelong. (b) At stake in a physical war is physical security; the war against one’s personal impulses is one of spiritual life or death. (c) One is well aware of physical enemies and knows that they seek nothing less than his death; his spiritual enemies, however, attempt to pass themselves off as his best friend. Thus, they have greater power and are more deadly (Midrash Shmuel). Lieber, Scherman, The Pirkei Avos Treasury,
If you are the sort of person who is often tempted to give into temptation, it would be wise to write these words down and carry them with you at all times.
Whenever you are tempted to get involved in a venture or a relationship that you think might be wrong, imagine that your involvement will be headlined in the next morning’s New York Times. If that thought doesn’t worry you, then go ahead with your plans. Otherwise, stop immediately. Telushkin, The Book Of Jewish Values, 395.
In the Book of Numbers, the Torah describes the law of the Nazarite, one who vows to “set himself apart for the Lord.” By taking the Nazarite vow, a person obligates himself not to drink wine, or eat grapes, cut his hair, or have contact with a corpse (see Numbers 6:1-21)…
In commenting upon this law, the Talmud offers the Nazarite very practical advice: “Take a circuitous route, O Nazarite, but do not approach the vineyard.” In other words, since you are forbidden to eat grapes, avoid tempting yourself by going to places where grapes are present.
In a more modern context, this advice could be explained to apply to people with different temptations (alcoholics, gamblers, etc…).
That is why self-knowledge is the first step to self-improvement. Only if a person knows his weakness (such as overstepping appropriate sexual boundaries, gossiping unfairly, exaggerating one’s hours when charging a client) is there a hope that he will learn how to categorically avoid those things that most tempt him.
Do you know your weakness? And if you do, do you have strategies for guarding against them? Telushkin, The Book Of Jewish Values, 394-395